Whatever the Reason
by Erika
Summary: When Regulus is sorted into Slytherin, it gives Sirius cause to wonder.


Hi everyone! First of all, no, I am not writing more fanfiction. I'm actually posting stories that I finished BEFORE the SIXTH book came out. They've been siting on my computer and since people are still reading my stories, I thought you might enjoy these. Most of them are part of a series so I'm starting with the stand-alone ones. Please let me know what you think. And, please remember that this was written prior to the sixth book being published so it won't follow canon established after that. Enjoy!

**Title:** Whatever the Reason

**Author:** Erika

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** When Regulus is sorted into Slytherin, it gives Sirius cause to wonder.

**Timeframe:** Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter are third years.

**Spoilers:** For PoA

**Category:** Angst, POV

**Disclaimers:** Hogwarts and all of its characters belong to JK Rowling, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed =0). I'm making no money from this and this is written for entertainment purposes only.

**Feedback:** Both positive feedback and _constructive_ criticism are greatly appreciated and will be cherished!

**Archive:** Please ask first. =)

**Author's Note:** This takes place in the same timeline as all my other HP stories but can be read as a stand-alone piece.

**Whatever the Reason**

**Sirius:**

I couldn't contain the sigh that escaped my lips when I heard the approaching footsteps of Remus descending the staircase behind me. I knew it was him. It had to be. He was the only other person that was aware of these secret passageways. He and I had discovered them during the Christmas holidays in our first year and upon his request we'd kept their existence a secret. Even James and Peter didn't know about them.

They provided a great refuge but never a complete one. Remus could always find me. Sometimes that was good. Sometimes it was bad. And sometimes – like today – I wasn't sure what it was.

There was a momentary pause in my friend's steps but he didn't say anything. When he sat down next to me at the foot of the stairs, I didn't shift to look at him. I was grateful for his concern and trusted that he didn't need me to tell him that. I was also grateful that he didn't ask me what was wrong. Remus was like that. He was an odd fellow, actually. Perfectly willing to sit and listen to me ramble about whatever was troubling me and just as willing to simply sit with me if I _didn't_ want to talk but didn't want to be alone either.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked quietly after a few minutes.

"Yes." The word was said before I even had time to think about answering otherwise.

"All right," he agreed immediately, not sounding at all hurt. That was Remus. Understanding and patient. "I brought you food. Figured you wouldn't feel like going on a kitchen raid later."

That was when I noticed that he'd set a plate down on the floor in front of us. It had a pile of rice and chicken on it. Knowing Moony, he'd probably used a Heating Charm to keep it hot for me. He'd even remembered to bring silverware and a napkin. I opened my mouth to thank him but realized he was no longer at my side. I'd said I wanted to be alone so he was going.

I sighed again. I could still hear his footsteps on the stairs… And I didn't want him to go. Not really. If he did, I'd just stay here and keep brooding. "Wait," I called after. "You don't have to…" I didn't finish my sentence but it didn't matter. Remus returned to sitting next to me anyway, without comment or complaint.

When I finally turned my head too look at him I was met with kind but unpresuming eyes. "James is pretty worried," he began, perhaps seeing that I didn't want to talk just yet. "Skipping out in the middle of the Sorting Ceremony and then missing your first day of classes…" he shook his head. "McGonagall is none too happy either. I heard her muttering something about detention."

"I haven't been here all night, you know," I told him, partly to decrease his worry but mostly so that he wouldn't think I was completely pathetic.

"I know," his answer surprised me. "I heard you creep into the dormitory last night."

"Oh."

"Before you ask, you can copy my homework tonight." He grinned and I raised a surprised eyebrow. Remus was usually quite disapproving of that sort of thing. Whenever I wanted to get out of doing my own work he'd relent but always with an accompanying mini-lecture of some sort. The fact that he was _offering_ meant he was more concerned than he was letting on. It made me feel bad. He already had enough to worry about.

"I don't really care about the homework." I knew I'd end up copying it anyway, though.

"You will." He knew I'd end up copying it too. "Later."

I nodded and shot him a rather subdued grin. When he didn't respond, my eyes drifted back to the plate of food. I hadn't eaten anything since early this morning and that'd been a bunch of candy I'd purchased on the Hogwarts Express. I wasn't hungry, though. Not yet. I was too troubled to think about my stomach.

"It sorted him into Slytherin," I started without meaning to but was glad to hear the words leave my mouth. I was even gladder that Remus was sharp and intuitive. I didn't have to elaborate. He knew who I was talking about. "The Hat barely touched his head."

I hadn't expected any different. Everyone in my family was a Slytherin. _Everyone_. Except for me. And my brother Regulus was a Black, through and through. He touted the importance of being pureblood, hated 'Mudbloods', loathed Dark creatures, and believed all of the rubbish my parents taught him. Of course I'd expected him to be in Slytherin. I hadn't expected my reaction to it, though.

I'd thought I'd be a little disappointed. Regulus and I had been close, once. The hardest thing about the chasm between my family and me was losing my brother. Even though I'd known he was destined for Slytherin I'd still hoped that maybe…_maybe_ he wasn't as different from me as I thought. Maybe something had changed. Maybe he wasn't completely lost to me…

I didn't feel that sorrow when the Sorting Hat shouted out the name of the house I most hated. Instead, I was gripped by fear and uncertainty. What if we _weren't_ as different as I thought? The Sorting Hat hadn't even _considered_ its decision. It hadn't even fallen over my brother's eyes before making its announcement, the single word echoing throughout the Great Hall as the Slytherin table applauded.

It hadn't been like that for me. Not at all. The Sorting Hat had spent many long minutes whispering in my ears before finally putting me in Gryffindor. It was only my fervent desire to _not_ be like my family, to _not_ be a Black, that had kept me from Slytherin. The blasted Hat had spoken of bravery, cunning, and an ability to do what was necessary, no matter what the costs. It had spoken of so many things, finally ending with the rather unreassuring statement that 'perhaps bravery wins out after all.' Then it had made its decision. But what if it had made the _wrong_ decision? What if I belonged there with the rest of my relatives?

'_Perhaps_ bravery wins out after all…' Perhaps?

It hadn't troubled me at the time – I'd been so happy too be put in Gryffindor – but now the word wouldn't stop repeating endlessly in my mind. Perhaps? Why perhaps? And what had it meant that I had an ability to do what was necessary…no matter what the costs? What exactly did it think I was capable of? Again…just how different from my family was I?

"Did you expect Regulus to be sorted into another house?" Remus inquired after a long while, tone gentle. I knew by the look in his eyes that he didn't demand an answer and would not be annoyed if one was not given.

"No," I admitted very softly, sounding resigned. "Of course not."

Remus accepted my words without further probing. It was his way of letting me continue at my own pace, if I wanted to continue at all. I'd always appreciated that about him. Unlike James, he understood that my wanting or not wanting to talk about certain things wasn't meant as a slight or a blow against our friendship.

"The Sorting Hat almost stuck me in Slytherin," I lowered my eyes as I made this confession. Even James didn't know. I wasn't sure he wanted to. He hated Slytherin as much as I did. What would his reaction be to finding out that the damned Hat had actually considered placing me there?

I'd expected Remus to remind me that the Hat _hadn't_, in fact, chosen that house and that in the end, all that mattered was its final decision. That was why his next revelation, spoken more quietly than my own, surprised me.

"I remember when we were sorted. I was so afraid that the Hat would put me in Slytherin." There was a hint of vulnerability in his voice that pained me.

"You – what?" I sputtered rather ineloquently, raising my gaze to meet his. There was an unguarded openness in his emerald orbs that told me how serious he was in his admission. _Remus_ had feared being sorted into _Slytherin_? Seriously? There wasn't a _single person_ I could think of who was _less likely_ to have _anything_ in common with a Slytherin than _Remus_. I could, perhaps, see him in Ravenclaw but _never_ Slytherin. He was…too kind, too caring, too introverted, too honorable and loyal.

Remus smiled sadly but didn't elaborate.

"Remus…" I frowned, shaking my head in incomprehension. "Why?"

Moony shot me a startled look. He seemed baffled by my question. Did he truly think the answer was so obvious? "Because I'm a Dark creature, Sirius," he explained simply.

Oh. Well… That was, all things considered, not surprising. Remus always struggled with the Wizarding world's perception that he was some sort of monster. "Do you…ever wonder if the Hat made the right choice?"

"Not so much anymore." He flushed. "It helps when you…er…have friends that– It helps when you have friends."

I wasn't sure what he had meant to say before stopping himself but I could guess. Probably something along the lines of 'friends that accept who you are.' I felt a smile tugging at my lips. It was good to know that I'd helped, somehow. It was good to know that maybe, somehow, I'd made things easier for him.

"You're less like your family than you think, Sirius," Remus continued, still a little embarrassed. "I know that my saying it won't make you believe it but… When you found out about my…condition you promised me that you wouldn't let me spend another full moon alone. So far you've kept your word. Does that strike you as something anyone else in your family would do?"

At first I thought it was a rhetorical question but when I caught Moony's assessing stare I realized it wasn't. "No. It doesn't." I knew what he was saying. He was reminding me that no matter how similar in temperament I was to the rest of my kin, my morals and beliefs were vastly different and that was the important thing. Maybe he was right. Or maybe he wasn't. Either way, it was obvious that _he_ didn't doubt the truth of his words and that he didn't doubt me.

Remus nodded. "Maybe you should remember that promise when you start doubting how different you are from them."

I swallowed convulsively but then returned the nod. My insecurities and fears were still there – I seriously doubted they'd ever completely fade – but somehow, talking to Remus had helped. Somehow, it had lifted some of the pressure from my heart. Maybe it was simply the fact that I'd confessed my insecurities aloud or maybe it was because I knew Remus believed in me. Maybe it was both.

Whatever the reason, I felt better. For now, that was all that mattered.

THE END


End file.
